Regift or not to regift? Regifting is the act of giving an unwanted, unused gift to someone other than the original gift giver. It was in 1995 during a Seinfeld episode, The Label Maker, where the term “regift” coined the word “regift” when Elaine realized a gift she gave was then given to someone else.  The etiquette rule broken was it was regifted to someone Elaine knew. Regifting has been popular since then. In fact, Dec. 18 is officially “Regifting Day,” created a week before Christmas by a debt-counseling group as a way of decreasing gift spending and, in turn helping the environment by decreasing landfill.

Have you ever regifted? I did with a wedding present we received. To us, it was the ugliest bowl we had ever seen. It was multi-colored glass in a very odd shape. Knowing the gift givers, they probably regifted it themselves! I donated it to a charity auction, knowing no one there would know the gift givers since they lived two hours away. My father was not pleased that I gave away a gift his friends had given me, but it would have only gathered dust in the attic…and end up in pieces sooner or later. At least my regifting was for the benefit of others. That was in 1972. (I do have the fear that perhaps it was so unusual it would have become very valuable by now…just my luck…)

Here, 37 years later, regifting to charity is an acceptable part of the regifting etiquette. Yes, there is an etiquette. There are many news posts on the topic and several books can be found, also. I put the question out on my Facebook page, hoping for some opinions on the rules of regifting etiquette. What it turned into was a family debate between my two daughters.

My daughters took opposite sides on the question to regift or not regift, of course… One daughter believes it is okay to regift under some circumstances but her sister strongly believes it is not okay to regift for any reason.

My daughter, who said it is okay to regift, stated two etiquette rules to follow:

• the giver and the recipient should not know each other
• be sure the gift tag has been removed

My daughter who disagrees with her sister, has these reasons for not regifting:

• the giver took time to choose a meaningful gift or one they thought the recipient would enjoy
• the giver’s feelings would be hurt if they found that the recipient gave away their gift

Other etiquette rules include:

• rewrap in new paper and new tag
• never regift a used gift
• never give a gift the recipient gave you
• never, never give away a handmade or custom made gift

I agreed with the first daughter and my husband agreed with the second daughter. My son remained neutral.

When contemplating whether to regift or not regift, remember that gift giving is about the giving. The person who gave you the gift may have enjoyed searching for “just the right gift” for you. How would they feel if they learned you gave away that special gift? Then…how would you feel? Is it worth regifting? I think not.

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