I am a Certified Peer Recover Specialist. So through my work, I get to give back a little of what helped me to reach this point in my recovery. Recovery does not mean the symptoms go away but that you can live a life worth living with them. What I do is teach dialectical behavior skills to people that are considered my peers. We always connect because we share experiences of a simular nature. I also track down forms of assistance for my clients to help with transportation, food, utilities, rent and so on… I try to help get some of these issues taken care of for the people I work with. It is hard to work on mental health issues when you have needs of necessity. Hence, the mental health issues get worse which leads to stress that leads to not wanting to face the world and so on, and so on,.

I struggle more since I came to work because I do have a teenage son and 5 grandchildren. I also do not have the time it takes to look for necessities that I had when I did not work and I did not have a car when I was off work but have to have one now which costs me higher car payments due to poor credit because of living in poverty most of my life.

I can’t tell my life story in this blog but I have struggled and going to work cost me most of the help I was receiving. I have lost three places to live since I began to work and I have to pay only $500.00 a month for rent though that does not include utilities. I can’t lose my car or my house because I will lose my job and be homeless but I can’t give up my job. I have been trying to get on HUD housing for over 10 years and the list is always closed or the waiting lists are two or three years long and sometimes due to where and who I work with I find that places that are supposed to be following their wait lists only with no priorities, rent to people that are only on the list a few months and for the exact same apartments, I am on the list for. Sorry, I should not complain. So, helping the people I do is the only thing that keeps me moving most days.

Anyway, I had thought things would get better. And how was supposed to ask one of the people I help to be left out because I was on the list. Now, I find myself just days before Christmas, with no family besides my son and grand kids, no presents-this is not the main problem, that is not what Christmas is about for me, having to choose between my home or car to keep, and not having any money to eat at all let alone cook Christmas dinner for my son and grandkids.

And now with no others option I asked if anyone could help with food or help pay my most pressing bills, so I will have my job and my home come New Years.

I have faith in God and I am almost ashamed to ask but I do need help but maybe I waited too long to realize that.

Thank you for listening
May God bless all of you and
Have a Merry Christmas.

Tammy